Love of the Lost
by AnimeFanGirl2223
Summary: Kakashi has lost too many of his comrades and failing to help retrieve Sasuke was the final blow to his already damaged conscience. The cruelty of fate isn't finished with him yet though, as the man he's always been attracted to is inserted into his life. Will he fail yet another promise to protect the people he cares about? KakaIru; NejiShika/Warnings: Angsty Themes & Lemon
1. Chapter 1: An Odd Choice

This is a story requested by a guest review! I'm not sure if they wanted angsty or something else and it's 3:30 am AGAIN, so I'm just going to roll with it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

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Love of the Lost

Chapter 1: An Odd Choice

"Obito, Rin, I'm sorry. Once again, I couldn't protect my comrades. Naruto almost died along with all his teammates to save Sasuke and the mission still failed. If I had just been able to arrive sooner, he would still be here in the village instead of having his mind poisoned by that snake Orochimaru."

Kakashi stood in front of the stone memorial, spilling his most painful thoughts to his long-dead friends. He did this almost every day, but it never quite took away the hollow feeling in his heart. There were so many regrets from his past.

The special Jonin would smile and wave, act bored and read his books, but inside, he could still feel the sting of knowing how many people he had lost. Obito and Rin were just two of a long line of comrades that had fallen in the countless battles shinobi were forced into almost every day.

He knew why the Third had required him to leave Anbu and take on training Genin, and he would admit that leading Team 7 had temporarily given him hope for the future, but that was gone now. Sasuke had left, shaking his already hesitant faith in himself.

"I promised them on their first mission that I would never let anything happen to them, and here I am a hypocrite again" he continued, the heavy rain hiding his remorseful tears. "Naruto hasn't given up yet though, he's leaving with Jiraiya to train so that he can bring Sasuke back. Maybe if I had given the Fourths' son more attention, this wouldn't have happened; I was foolish."

Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at his reflection in the rock. He would forever wish that it had been his name written there instead of any of his friends.

"Come to pay your respects Kakashi-san?" came a soft voice from behind him.

The copy-ninja didn't flinch outwardly, but he had been so consumed by his thoughts he hadn't even noticed the familiar presence. "I didn't expect to see you here, Iruka-sensei" he replied, his one visible eye glancing back.

The younger man walked up beside him slowly, a sad smile on his face. "My parent's names are engraved on this stone, and please, call me Iruka. I'm only a sensei to pre-Genin" he answered.

The elder remembered how gentle Iruka had always been. He'd once been on Kakashi's team but quickly found that he was more suited to teaching than killing in battle. The Jonin had always admired him for that; it wasn't often you found someone as kind hearted as the brunette in their line of work. Although he was secretly unhappy the man had left his squad, he knew it was for the best.

"How is Naruto doing?" the Chunin asked, knowing it was a sensitive question.

"He was your pupil too Iruka, so you know how resilient he is; Naruto is already back to his old self" he drawled.

The shorter man smiled warmly, content with the knowledge that nothing would break his favorite student's determination. He laid a bouquet of flowers down at the foot of the memorial and whispered something. When he rose from his kneeling position he turned and put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder, giving him a knowing look.

The silver-haired man didn't meet his eyes. They were too soft, too sincere and too caring for the likes of him. He deserved to be stared down by hardened criminals and deal with the demons that lurked in the shadows, not the overly polite olive-skinned sensei.

"Kakashi-san…" Iruka started, coaxing the elder to look at him. Kakashi forced himself to not grit his teeth when he finally raised his dark orb to the mans scarred face.

"Thank you for bringing Naruto back to me. I know he can be reckless, and a major pain, but he's the only family I have left. I'm forever in your debt" the Chunin finished, giving the mans almost trembling shoulder a squeeze.

Kakashi tensed at his words for a fraction of a second, letting his eye drop back to the ground. He didn't feel like he of all people should be receiving such generous words of thanks. The warmth of the shorter man's hand seared through his vest, torturing him.

"I'll leave you be now, but know if you ever need to talk, my door is always open" Iruka offered, giving the damaged man a final sympathetic smile before walking past him.

As soon as the Chunin was out of sight, Kakashi let out a heavy breath he didn't know he had been holding. The sensei's words rolled around in his sorrow filled mind; there was absolutely no way he would ever actually go to see Iruka.

He came and spoke to the dead because they couldn't judge him, and even if they did from a life beyond, he would deserve it. The copy-ninja had failed them all once, and they had every right to tear him apart for it. But having to sit and let someone as gentle as Iruka hear about the dark, twisted parts of his mind made him feel vulnerable and weak, two things that an elite shinobi could never be.

* * *

***Time-Skip: 1 Month***

Naruto had left the village with the Sannin, and life was even more dismal than it had been before he had ever started training with the blonde. Sakura was his only student that was still around, and she was now Tsunade's pupil.

Kakashi was reminded every time he woke up that the only three students that had passed his teamwork bell test were all gone. _"You weren't there to stop Sasuke. You couldn't protect Naruto from the Akatsuki. You didn't even give Sakura the time of day, so she found a sensei that would."_

Bags had started to form until his visible eye from lack of sleep. He hated going to bed knowing what would be his first thoughts when he woke up, and his dreams were no better. The Jonin had busied himself with missions and training so that he could keep his mind off all the trauma that was buried inside him. Even now, he was off to the Hokage tower to turn in a mission report and request another assignment.

'Knock, knock'

"Come in!" the Hokage boomed from within her office.

"Report milady" he stated as he entered.

Tsunade watched him intently as he reviewed the mission, noticing how worn down he looked. When he asked for his next assignment, she fought to keep the concern off her face. "You've been on missions back to back for nearly a month now Kakashi. You need a break" she answered.

"I know how desperate the village is to keep up appearances right now, and I'm fine. I just need a good shower" he retorted, giving his best closed-eye smile.

It was true, every shinobi was on overtime from the number of requests that had been flowing in, and to show other nations that the Leaf was not falling behind, they had been accepting them. She narrowed her eyes, perceiving that there was more to his behavior than just duty.

Kakashi saw a small gleam cross her eyes but dismissed it when she seemed to give in. "Come back in the morning for your next mission. I have one in mind, but I need to finish getting the members of the squad sorted out. Go home and get some rest" she ordered.

The Jonin nodded and headed back to his apartment, intent on taking a shower and then going back out to train.

* * *

"Your assignment is a simple B rank protection detail. The client in a young Lord on his way to his controversial marriage so there is the possibility for multiple assassination attempts."

Kakashi eyed the three shinobi beside him, somewhat shocked to see Iruka among their group. _"They must be in real need of shinobi to send the sensei out into potential combat,"_ he thought smugly. Having worked with the brunette, he knew of the man's abilities, but he'd been an Academy professor for years now. Surely there was someone more suited for this mission.

The Jonin agreed to meet his squad at the gate in half an hour and waited around to speak with the Hokage. Before he could even open his mouth, she silenced him. "I'm aware that you think I've made a mistake with whom I chose to accompany you Kakashi, but it's done. Shikamaru is a talented Chunin now, and Neji is sure to be useful. As for Iruka, he has been part of your team before and is a Chunin himself. We are extremely short handed at the moment and I couldn't spare anyone else."

The silver-haired man gave a bored, deadpan look but didn't argue further. He left the office and decided to go and speak to the memorial stone again before departing on the mission. Kakashi knew he would need guidance and clarity.

* * *

The first night on the road was difficult; Neji was barely healed from his fight with the Sound ninja, Shikamaru was still in a rut from failing his first mission as a team leader, and Iruka was as usual, too cheerful.

Kakashi sighed as he took the first watch. They would reach their client the following morning and he hoped they could at least look like they had their shit together by then. He stared up at the stars, thinking about his students again. It was too quiet without their bickering.

"Mind if I sit with you?"

The Jonin cursed at himself silently. The friendly man always managed to sneak up on him somehow. He nodded, trying to be polite.

"I'm sorry I was put on your team again Kakashi-san; I know I'm not even on the list of people you would want but I will do my best to keep up" the scarred man spoke as he rested himself on the large rock.

Kakashi almost didn't hear what Iruka had said; he was too busy trying not to ogle the firm body beneath his tight black shirt. He shook his head slightly, regrouping. "It's not that I doubt your abilities Iruka. I just remember how much you detested combat."

The younger man leaned back on his hands, stretching his upper body slightly. _"I guess his time in the academy didn't change his training regimen"_ Kakashi though to himself. Seeing Iruka like this, relaxed, smiling, and practically glowing in the moonlight reminded the Jonin why he had been somewhat disappointed that the man had left his group to be a teacher.

He returned his eye to the book he had started to read before getting lost in his thoughts. It was ironic that reading a perverted book was the best way for him to get his own fantasies to leave his mind, but for whatever reason, it worked. The elder hoped that the brunette would get his hint and leave, but the Chunin just rolled his eyes and looked out from their vantage point.

"You don't like these books Iruka?" Kakashi asked innocently, trying to get a rise out of the man be knew to be a prude. He immediately wished he hadn't though. The youngers face lit up with an adorable blush, and he rubbed his scar absentmindedly, making the elder man want him even more.

"I've never read them, but I don't think they would be appropriate for someone like me" he answered, nervously.

Despite knowing it was a bad idea, the Jonin couldn't help his curiosity. Besides, if he made the man uncomfortable enough, he was sure to leave. "Oh, and why is that?" he questioned, flipping the book around so that he could show the younger a particularly erotic scene.

The redness on Iruka's cheeks darkened and move down his neck. He avoided looking in the direction of the book altogether and instead began intently staring at a tree. Naruto had been the only other person bold enough to make him nervous in such a way, and that had been with his 'sexy-jutsu'.

Kakashi had a full-blown smirk under his mask, enjoying how anxious he was making the Chunin. "Ma, you might enjoy reading it sometime if you ever get over being such a prude" Kakashi teased, putting the book back in his pocket.

Iruka gave him an 'I'm too embarrassed to be annoyed' glare and stood up, stalking back to where his bed was set up.

The Jonin laughed a bit to himself, but then realized he missed the man's company, even if it had been short. He considered not purposely trying to get the younger to leave if he ever attempted to sit with him again but ultimately decided against it.

As much as he wanted to connect with someone, it was best that he didn't. Everyone he became close with ended up dying because he couldn't stop it from happening. He wouldn't let that happen to Iruka too.

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Okay! That was chapter 1... If the guest reviewer that requested this is reading… PLEASE TELL ME IF THIS IS WHAT YOU HAD IN MIND!

Everyone else though, 😊 Please Follow/Favorite/Review because it makes me happy!


	2. Chapter 2: Denial

You know, I've decided I like the KakaIru pairing a lot… I think they should get together in the actual Manga/Anime at some point. I mean really, apparently, they were both still bachelors when Naruto got married to Hinata so why not?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

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Love of the Lost

Chapter 2: Denial

When morning arrived, Iruka seemed to have forgotten how embarrassed he had been the night before and was chatting with his former students like nothing had happened. Kakashi was quiet, as usual, but listened to their conversation for any hint that the brunette was irritated with him.

After being left to his thoughts for the rest of the night, Kakashi wasn't able to get the scarred mans blushing face out of his mind. There was such a cute innocence to it, drawing the copy-nin in like a moth to fire, though fully aware of just how badly he could be burned by such a warming feeling.

"Kakashi-san, were you told the reason their marriage is so controversial?" Iruka asked, his big brown eyes piercing through the eavesdropping man.

"He was supposed to marry a princess from across the sea, but turned it down to marry a prince in the Land of Rice-Patties." He answered.

The Chunin blushed again, his eyes closing from some unknown emotion. "Ah young love!" he exclaimed happily, making everyone else sweat drop. Only Iruka could find the mushy underbelly of what had been a major issue between multiple lands.

"It seems like such foolishness to me. No one can escape their destiny, not even a young Lord like him" Neji responded, his nose high in the air.

Shikamaru snorted softly, earning a glare from the proud Hyuga. "Oh, nothing Neji. I was just wondering how destiny was working out for you after getting your ass kicked by Naruto" he snickered, purposefully trying to get under the man's porcelain skin.

Neji turned to the shadow user and started to argue, the two quickly entering a battle of witty comebacks and attempts to out-maneuver the other.

Iruka stared at them as they walked, unable to keep up with the two geniuses. He returned his attention to Kakashi and sped up some to stroll beside him, but didn't say a word. Just kept the pace and politely ignored the man he had come to walk next to.

* * *

***Time-Skip: 1 Week***

The mission had gone smoothly so far, the three shinobi under his command had performed well, but Iruka had stood out. He still wasn't much of one for killing, but his skills in combat had greatly improved. Kakashi wondered how that had happened since he was constantly around snot-nosed children and probably never doing any real fighting.

The copy-ninja hadn't realized he was staring at the sensei again until he blinked and brown eyes were looking back at him, an eyebrow arched delicately in confusion. He beckoned the man over, desperately trying to think of something to say to make sense of his gaze. Thank goodness, he had the majority to his face covered; he was sure he felt his cheeks heat up as the man crossed the ceremony room.

"What is it Kakashi-san? Is something wrong?" he asked, concerned.

They were right in the middle of the wedding now and supposed to be focusing on the crowd to ensure the rituals safety.

"Have Shikamaru and Neji been acting strangely to you?" the Jonin questioned, still attempting to cover his slip up.

The brunette gave him a funny look, "is that important for the mission?"

No, no it really wasn't. The two teens had done well despite the issues he had been worried about in the beginning. Shikamaru had regrown his confidence some, and Neji didn't seem to be hindered by his shoulder. But he didn't want Iruka to know that he had been ogling him. "Yes," he lied, "I'm concerned about their focus."

Kakashi could have sweat-dropped; he was completely projecting his own faults onto two fine shinobi who despite their problems were performing excellently.

The sensei crossed his arms and stood beside the elder man, his head cocked to the side some in thought. "I suppose they have been arguing more than usual, but I didn't think it was causing any problems. In fact, the two seem to perform better this way."

"Very analytical of you Iruka" Kakashi responded, glancing at the shorter man from the corner of his eye.

The Chunin smiled warmly as he spoke, "I still have a lot to learn. You obviously noticed something I didn't Kakashi-san. I'm always so impressed with your skills." His dark eyes flickered up to the silver haired man, studying his masked face. The Jonin was about to awkwardly make conversation when Iruka scratched at his scar nervously, mumbling something about getting back to work.

Kakashi let out a tired breath, it was getting harder for him to keep his mind on the assignment. Iruka was warm, loving, sensitive and truly good; everything that he wasn't. He wanted to be around the younger man because it made him feel less like a failure. The Jonin figured that his old teammate had that effect on a lot of people since he was a favorite at the academy.

The man had even managed to help get Naruto on track with his life before anyone else tried to intervene, including himself. The brunette was far too good for him, but his usually sturdy self-discipline was becoming lax.

* * *

***Time-Skip: Back in Konoha***

By the time they had reached the gates of their village, all four shinobi were worn out. It hadn't been a necessarily straining mission, but the air had been tense the entire way back, pulling the oxygen they needed from their grasp.

Shikamaru side-glanced at Neji and smacked his lips lightly, his bored face still in place. But there was something behind his eyes that only the Hyuga seemed to understand, and he responded by shooting a glare back.

Iruka stretched and walked over to the two shinobi sitting at the entrance, asking them how things had been while he was gone. Kakashi was a little saddened the man didn't so much as say goodbye, but honestly, why would he have? It wasn't as if they were good friends; the two had really only spoken about Naruto since the Chunin had decided to become a teacher.

He turned to leave but paused when that enticing voice called out for him. "Kakashi-san! Wait up!"

The man felt his heart beat just a tad faster and stayed still, doing his best to look uninterested. Iruka jogged over to him and flashed an embarrassed grin, one that almost broke the elders hard fought mask.

"I was wondering if you would help me train sometime?" Iruka asked, his voice quiet.

"Mah, why would you want to do that sensei? If I remember correctly you work with pre-Genin that can't even do the transformation jutsu" he replied. A tidal wave of guilt washed over him when he saw the disappointment in the youngers face. He hadn't meant for what he said to come out so harshly.

Iruka gave a sad smile and nodded, "I understand Kakashi-san. Have a good day!"

The Jonin almost called out to his old friend, but every ounce of his pride pushed against such a gesture. There were plenty of elite shinobi that could work with the brunette, it didn't need to be him. Still, his chest tightened when he watched the man walk away.

He needed to do another mission to get his mind off everything.

* * *

Neji panted as he paused from training, his mind swirling around the shadow-user. The lazy ass had purposely pushed his buttons the entire mission and then had 'accidentally' been knocked into him during a light scuffle at the ceremony, pushing them both up against a wall. He'd given the Hyuga the same bored, but mischievous smirk ever since then, having clearly noticed the older boys blush.

"You know, most people take a shower and rest after coming back from a stressful mission" an uninterested voice spoke.

The Hyuga gritted his teeth and turned back to glare; the person he was desperately trying to remove from his thoughts was standing in the tree line behind him, idly leaning against a large trunk.

"Have you nothing better to do than come and harass me, Nara?" he hissed, his patience wearing thing from fatigue.

The boy pushed off his resting place and strolled over, his hands still tucked into his pockets. "I didn't think it was considered harassment if you like it, Hyuga." He replied, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Neji scoffed incredulously, crossing his arms over his chest. "Just what nonsense are you spouting about now?"

Shikamaru didn't answer immediately, instead, he stopped inches in front of the boy and leaned forward, his lips hovering just above the others. "I think you know exactly what I'm thinking Neji" he whispered, his voice low. After a momentary pause, he pressed his tan lips against the Hyuga's, so lightly the elder boy could barely feel it.

Neji was so shocked by the shadow user's forwardness that he didn't move, just stood rock still as his face flushed in embarrassment.

The Nara pulled back, a smug look covering his sharp features. He turned and started to waltz away, throwing a hand in the air to wave at the still frozen boy. "See you around Hyuga" he called back.

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Sorry… writers block… I'm sure it will pass eventually.

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	3. Chapter 3: Appearances

I don't know why this story is so hard for me to write… Can someone tell me if it's coming off as strained? Please?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

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Love of the Lost

Chapter 3: Appearances

***Time-Skip: 2 Weeks***

Neji ferociously attacked Hiashi who had agreed to train with him after the Chunin exams. He was still no match for the elder, but his irritation was making his moves sharper, more precise. After Shikamaru had pulled that little stunt at the training grounds, he hadn't seen the shadow user, and it infuriated him.

The boy was obviously toying with him and trying to get Neji to seek him out, but he wouldn't have it. He was a proud Hyuga and refused to be a slave to his emotions, no matter how much he liked the Nara.

His lips still burned every time he thought about the ghost of a kiss they had shared, driving him insane to feel it again.

The two shinobi paused for a break, Neji returning to the porch to sit in the shade and drink the tea his cousin had set out for him. "You know Hinata-Sama if you trained instead of pretending to be a housewife you might not be so weak" he growled, taking his frustration out on the younger.

She lowered her eyes but then raised them again, a fire pooling deep within their depths. "Spar with me Neji" she demanded quietly, getting to her feet. Despite what he thought, she had been training almost non-stop with Kiba and Shino and even spoken to Guy-sensei and Lee, her desire to prove her worth to her father and be acknowledged by Naruto driving her forward.

Her cousin smiled smugly and agreed, he needed to vent more and taking down Hinata would be the perfect way to do it. Neji was aware this was similar to how bullies behaved, but he didn't care.

Hiashi came back with Hanabi in tow right as the two leaped at each other, surprised to see his daughter behaving so confidently.

The two threw various chakra filled jabs at each other, their Byakugans' locked on to the many chakra points. After several minutes of neither landing a blow, Hinata smiled; she'd done as the spandex wearing ninja had suggested and carefully analyzed Neji's unique fighting style.

Her speed had been greatly enhanced by training, but she'd been holding back until the moment she was ready to strike, and that's exactly what she did. With extreme precision and power, Hinata commenced the Eight-Trigrams 128-Palms, slamming her small hands into their targets. The elder Hyuga flew backward, all his chakra points sealed off.

Hiashi and Hanabi stood shell-shocked as the Hyuga genius was defeated by the stuttering, supposedly weak-willed ex-heiress.

Neji gasped for air in the dirt, his wide eyes trying to find Hinata through his blurry vision. She walked past him and her father and sister. "I-I like m-making tea" she huffed. The girl knew she would regret losing her temper later, but right now she'd let go of her passive nature and feel irritation for once.

The injured Hyuga remained still as Hiashi reopened his pathways. If it was possible, he felt even worse than he had before. Now he was frustrated about the Nara, and just had his ass handed to him by Hinata, though he knew he deserved it for being so cruel to her.

"Where did that come from?" he grumbled when he could speak again.

The elder shook his head, his mind still reeling. "I… I didn't even know she had learned that technique" he admitted, helping the boy to his feet.

Neji didn't let his shock stay hidden, "you mean you didn't teach it to her?"

Hiashi shook his head again, "Years ago I decided that if Hinata couldn't defeat Hanabi in a duel I would strip her of her title of Heiress. She had a clear shot and would have beaten her sister, but she chose not to take it, her kind heart getting in the way. I only trained with her minimally following the incident and after the Chunin exams, I decided to train you instead of her entirely. She must have learned it on her own."

The teen felt a heavy guilt weigh down his chest, it was no wonder Hinata always made them meals; if whoever she had been training with was busy, she'd have nothing else to do other than watch Neji replace her in training with the elder.

With his pride thoroughly whipped, he caved and decided he'd go talk to the Nara and then apologize to his usually sweet cousin.

* * *

It was dusk when Kakashi finally stumbled through what he believed to be his apartment door, exhausted both mentally and physically from the grueling mission he'd returned from. He could have sworn he left it locked as he always did, but he was too tired to care.

The lights switched on in the dark room and he was face to face with a very confused and startled Iruka.

"Kakashi-San, are you alright? What are you doing here?" the man asked, his soft face riddled with worry.

" _Shit…this isn't my…"_ he mused as he collapsed forward. The man didn't even have enough time to finish his own thought.

Iruka caught him before he hit the ground, and dragged him to the bathroom. He didn't know why the Jonin had abruptly barged into his apartment, but he didn't care.

The Chunin started removing the elders clothing, grimacing at the many open wounds that still bled heavily; it was no wonder he'd passed out. Iruka gulped when he removed the ever-present mask, running his finger over the small beauty mark he saw. The man was even more gorgeous than he had thought.

He shook his head to concentrate and moved to turn on the shower, then blushed heavily as he reached for the man's boxers.

He licked his lips lightly and tried to push his perverted thoughts from his head, Kakashi was badly wounded for crying out loud. Still, when the clothing slipped from his waist and down his thighs Iruka couldn't help but stare.

The copy-ninja was VERY well endowed, even when he wasn't erect. Trying to work despite his racing heart, he stripped himself of his own clothes and lifted the unconscious form, pulling them both under the warm water.

He tenderly cleaned the gashes and washed the grime from the man's hair, doing his best not to look at the one place he really wanted to.

When Iruka was satisfied that the Jonin was clean, he dried them both, slipped on his pants and went to work on patching him up.

After over an hour of stitching, wrapping and taping the silver-haired ninja back together, he lifted his limp body and carried him to his bedroom.

He wanted so desperately to crawl into bed with the man but forced himself to sleep on the couch. Kakashi would not be pleased to wake up naked, mask-less and being assaulted by the scar-faced Chunin.

* * *

Hinata cried into Kiba's shoulder as she told him what had happened between her and Neji. Now that she had calmed down, she was devastated she had been so cruel to him, just as she knew she would be.

Shino held her hands and lightly petted them while Akamaru laid in her lap. All three were doing their best to comfort the guilt-ridden girl, though they honestly believed the arrogant Hyuga had it coming.

"A-and the-n I-I tol-d him I l-like making t-tea" she sobbed.

Kiba started to laugh, unable to contain his pleasure any longer. "Ah come on Hinata, that was awesome! It's about time you showed people what you've been working on! Besides, I'd give anything to have seen Neji's face when you said that thing about the tea!"

"I agree with Kiba on this Hinata. Why you ask? Because you are my teammate and friend, and you should not let others push you around" Shino agreed.

The bug-user would probably never admit it to anyone, but he'd fallen for her the moment he laid eyes on her. It killed him that she pinned over Naruto, but if that would make her happy he would support it completely, especially if it helped her have more confidence in herself.

* * *

Neji kicked the dirt lightly as he walked through the training grounds; he'd quickly gotten cold feel about halfway to the Nara compound and wimped out, deciding instead to go and train more.

"Do you always look so pissed, or is something bothering you more than usual."

The Hyuga didn't know if he should groan in annoyance, or blush in embarrassment when Shikamaru's voice met his ears.

"As usual, Nara, you have made your presence known at the worst possible time" he eventually answered, turning to face the lazy shinobi.

"So, something is bothering you, want to tell me what it is?" the brunette asked, leisurely walking to the elder boy.

Neji didn't know why, perhaps it was the intense guilt and shame he felt, but he confided in the teen. "I hurt Hinata-Sama."

Shikamaru smirked and sat down in the grass, "I highly doubt that" he replied, lying back on his elbows.

The Hyuga glared at him as he sat down as well, "you knew?" he asked. Though he doubted much escaped the teen's watchful gaze.

As expected, the boy nodded and stared at the clouds, admiring the colors they'd taken on in the sunset. "She came and talked to me shortly after the elimination rounds, asking how to strategize against opponents who outmatched her physically."

"Speaking to you would not have allowed her to learn such advanced techniques" Neji responded.

"No, but she's talked to just about everyone too. She watches you train with her father so that she can attempt to reproduce everything he teaches you."

The Hyuga felt another wave of guilt. While he was sure Hinata made him food because that was the kind of person she was, she was also training the whole time. He'd been a fool to talk to her in such a way.

While he was scolding himself, Shikamaru decided to scoot closer, capturing the preoccupied teen's lips with his own.

The elder was slightly startled, his face flushing red immediately. When he came to his senses he pulled back, "I haven't given you permission to touch me Nara" he squeaked.

"No?" Shikamaru spoke huskily, "then tell me to stop." His lips landed on the Hyuga's pale throat, pecking the soft skin lightly as his hand lifted the boy's chin for better access.

Neji gasped before he could remind himself to keep his mouth closed, but he didn't try to move away from the wonderful feeling.

Not sensing any resistance, the shadow-user slid his hand down to the teen's chest and pushed gently until his back was on the ground.

He shifted his position, hovering above Neji before kissing him again, gliding his tongue over the others mouth, tangling his fingers in the boy's hair.

When the Hyuga felt the warm, wet organ probing his lips, he hesitantly opened, giving in to his desire to kiss the younger. Neji placed his soft hands on the Nara's shoulders. He felt embarrassed about his inexperience in intimacy and didn't know what else to do.

Their embrace was slow and sweet, tentatively exploring each other's mouths. When Shikamaru finally pulled back, he smiled down at the panting Hyuga. "I think you're starting to like me Neji" he taunted.

The elder glared weakly up at the teen. The shadow-user had known about his crush for a while, of that he was sure. "You seem to enjoy making fun of me Shikamaru" he replied.

The younger smirked and went to kiss him again.

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	4. Chapter 4: TLC

Hello! Thank you all for your support of my story and for my executive decision to make Hinata more of a bad ass!

*** Sorry for not updating: there was something wrong with document uploading on Fanfiction!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

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Love of the Lost

Chapter 4: TLC

Kakashi groaned as he woke up, his head pounding from the previous night's blood loss. He could feel his skin pulled tightly by stitches, restricting some of his movements. _"Strange, I don't remember going to the hospital,"_ he thought. The copy-ninja couldn't recall very much about what had happened the day before.

He frowned and opened his eyes when he heard movement from a different room; it wasn't like the sound of multiple nurses roaming empty hallways. The Jonin's confusion only grew when he glanced around the scarcely decorated room. "Where the hell am I?"

The door opened silently, followed by warm brown eyes peering in. Once Iruka saw the man was conscious he stepped inside, his face full of worry. "Kakashi-san! Good, you're awake."

Kakashi gulped once when the memory of realizing he wasn't in the correct apartment returned to his mind, then swallowed again when he didn't feel the familiar pull of his mask on his face. He didn't have anything to shield him from the man's gaze.

The Chunin scratched his nose nervously, seeing how anxious the elder man was. "How are you feeling?"

When the copy-nin shifted to sit up, he became very aware that his face wasn't the only part of him missing clothing. He felt utterly embarrassed at that moment, more so than he had in his entire life.

"You um… you were bleeding pretty heavily and uhh… there was so much blood and dirt on you I couldn't figure out where it was coming from so I… gave you a shower…" Iruka finally managed to explain, his own face becoming a darker shade of red with each word.

Kakashi couldn't believe that he had stumbled into the sensei's apartment, then been stripped, washed and tended to by the man he'd developed such a crush on. Mortified wasn't a strong enough word to describe how he was feeling.

"I made you some breakfast…" the Chunin continued, becoming increasingly anxious from the man's lack of response.

" _He made me food too…"_ Kakashi thought to himself, his head swimming. It was too much for him to handle in his current state and he felt his cheeks become red despite how hard he tried to prevent it.

Iruka finally got fed up with being ignored and stomped over to the silent man. Just to be safe, he slapped his hand onto the flushed forehead to see if he had a fever, though he was fairly certain it was just embarrassment causing him to freeze up. He knew he'd be pretty bashful too if he woke up naked in Kakashi's apartment.

The Jonin swatted the hand away and started to slide out of the bed, keeping the sheet bunched over his privates. He managed to get to his feet before his legs collapsed again, landing his exposed body right back in Iruka's arms.

The brunette set him down on the bed and put his hands on his hips. "Damnit Kakashi-San! Listen to me right now!" he screamed, his best scolding teacher voice coming out. "You are far too injured to be going anywhere and since you broke into MY apartment you're going to do as I say!"

Kakashi shook his head slightly, partly because he really wanted to get his mask and get out of there but also because he couldn't believe that sweet, charismatic, Academy teacher of the month every month until he dies Iruka was trying to take care of him.

A vein in the Chunin's temple pulsed dangerously. He cupped the man's face tightly with his hands, forcing them to make eye contact. "Lye back down right now or so help me I will get Tsunade to take you off missions for the next six months!"

The Jonin obeyed like a frightened puppy, leaning on the soft pillows.

Iruka smiled then, having apparently won the one-sided argument. "I'll go get the food!" he chirped.

Kakashi watched the man leave and then return with the breakfast platter. The last time non-hospital personnel had treated him like this he was still a child, with his father making him soup because he was sick.

The Chunin pulled up a chair and watched him intently, making sure he wasn't going to argue or try to get up again. Kakashi's hand shook lightly as he lifted the chopsticks to his lips, but he was damn sure he wouldn't drop them. There was no doubt in his mind that Iruka would start to feed him if he did.

It took all his strength not to groan when the fish and rice moved over his tongue. The sensei was an amazing chef as well; the Jonin didn't think he'd ever had food that tasted this good.

"When you're feeling better you can tell me why you didn't go to the hospital" Iruka stated, crossing his arms. "I don't mind that you came here, and I'm glad you did but still. With your injuries, you could have died."

Kakashi still didn't respond, the only thing that he felt was truly wounded was his pride.

* * *

Hinata stood in the kitchen of the Hyuga compound making tea and various lunch items like she always did at this time. Her father would be training Neji and as usual, she'd provide them with a meal during their break.

She truly felt ashamed for being so harsh with her cousin and embarrassed for doing it in front of her father. As much as she wanted to prove herself, this hadn't been the way she'd hoped to do it.

Still, the girl smiled to herself. After Kiba and Akamaru had left, she'd sat with Shino for a while. The teen was very quiet like her, and always said what he was thinking. He was her best friend, and she admired his strength.

"May I speak with you sister?" came a child's voice from behind her.

"O-of course H-Hanabi" she replied, though she didn't turn away from her preparations.

"Yesterday, father said that you purposely didn't strike me down when you had the chance in our duel. Is that true?"

Hinata nodded.

"Why? Why would you willingly give up your spot as heiress?" the younger asked.

Hinata sighed; she really didn't want to explain to Hanabi that she truly was as gentle hearted as everyone thought, and couldn't stand the idea of harming her younger sister, even if it meant losing what little respect her father had for her.

"Y-you are far b-better suited th-than I" she finally replied.

Her younger sister shook her head angrily if that was the case then Hinata wouldn't have been able to take down her older cousin. But she wouldn't argue now, compliments were one of the many ways that the elder Hyuga avoided conflict. "Neji has been looking for you, and so has father."

Hinata nodded and picked up the tray she'd completed, following Hanabi out to the courtyard. The two dueling men stopped when they saw her approaching and her face became bright red.

"Daughter, why did you hide your abilities from me," Hiashi asked when they grew close.

The young Hyuga didn't answer, she just clasped her hands together and kept her eyes down, not wanting to be in this conversation. She could feel Neji's gaze searing into her, making her even more uncomfortable.

"I-I have to g-go" she stuttered out, moving to leave.

"Hinata-Sama, please, let me apologize for my behavior yesterday. It was uncalled for" Neji called quickly.

The girl stopped, and turn her head back slightly, "No Nii-San, I-I s-should be the o-one apologizing. I-I was cruel."

Hiashi shook his head, Neji had told him exactly what had caused Hinata to react the way she did. He was shocked that she would have stood up for herself but proud at the same time.

"Hinata, I have spoken with the Clan's counsel and you will be reinstated as the heiress. We will resume training tomorrow."

The teen started to walk away stiffly. She didn't want to work with her father anymore. He was too critical and harsh and was only satisfied with her performance yesterday because he hadn't expected it.

She wanted to train with Shino and Kiba instead; they showed concern if she was knocked down and encouraged her to get up. Being the heir to the Clan was only important for her because she could change the ancient ways and help Neji, but other than that, she had no desire to lead.

Her father knew this, and she would be subjected to rounds of lectures on why that was unacceptable, why she was unacceptable. While she was envious of her cousin and sister for receiving Hiashi's praise and attention, it also made her happy that branch members were being acknowledged.

Hinata decided she'd need to speak with Shino and Shikamaru to help her figure out how to tell her father that she wouldn't train with him, but would accept the title of heiress if it wasn't eventually given to Neji instead.

* * *

Shikamaru stared at the clouds lazily from beneath a tree, taking a break from his training. His mind wandered to the Hyuga genius and wished he were with him instead. Ino wasn't that bad, and Choji was his best friend, but neither got his blood pumping like Neji could.

He considered going to see him again today, maybe popping up at the training grounds like he had the last two times. Neji seemed to be far less guarded when he showed up unexpectedly. But then again, he didn't want to come off as desperate; he'd waited a long time in between their first kiss and yesterday to ensure that the Hyuga had plenty of time to think about him too.

The Nara closed his eyes, dreaming of his crush's soft lips and the enticing voice that would pour out of them.

"Shikamaru!" Neji called, sending waves of unintentional butterflies through the youngers stomach.

The shadow-user watched the Hyuga walk over, admiring his graceful glide. "I didn't expect to see you today Neji," he said.

The elder blushed slightly but sat down all the same. After the mornings failed apology to Hinata he had decided to seek out Shikamaru; the boy didn't seem to have a care in the world, and being around him helped Neji feel like he didn't either.

Shikamaru leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend softly on the cheek, then the lips before wrapping his arm around the other's shoulders. The Hyuga relaxed into the embrace, deciding to watch the billowing clouds as well. The two geniuses didn't need to talk, they could sit in comfortable silence and be content together. Deep down though, Neji felt terrible for stringing the teen along.

He came from a family that almost exclusively arranged marriages, even to the branch members. In addition, his strong pride would never allow him to show affection first or even admit to anyone that he had feelings for Shikamaru. He knew it wasn't fair to treat the teen so poorly, but he couldn't bring himself to pull away.

Eventually, he'd have to tell the boy that the kissing and holding couldn't continue, but for now, he wanted to be happy. For once in his life, he wanted to have a semblance of control and do something for himself. The Shadow-user gave him the attention he craved and made him feel unburdened, uncaged.

His white eyes looked up at the beautiful blue sky, watching two birds twirl around each other as they flew.

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Thanks for reading this chapter! Please let me know what you all think!

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	5. Chapter 5

**Hello Friends! Sorry this has been such a long (and will probably continue to be long) journey! I hope you enjoy this chapter though!**

 **Disclaimer: I Don't Own Naruto!**

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Love of the Lost

Chapter 5

~Time Skip: 1 Week~

Kakashi had finally become well enough to leave his 'nurse' and it was much harder than he had expected. While he'd been hell-bent on getting out of the apartment as quickly as possible when he'd initially woken up, he couldn't deny the attention and pampering was like a dream.

"So, you'll be going back to your place to continue resting for a little longer right?" The Chunin asked as he helped put the clothes and other items he'd brought over for Kakashi into a bag.

"Do I really have a choice?" he queried, his voice holding a slightly playful edge.

Iruka crossed his arms and shook his head, "No, Kakashi-san. You've been pushing your body past its limit for too long and you need to let it recover before you start going on missions again. I looked in your files and the assignment you were on that left you so injured was B-ranked, something someone with your strength would have been able to easily deal with if you'd been well rested before leaving."

The Jonin almost rolled his eyes but knew it would lead to a severe scolding; a habit Iruka picked up teaching children no doubt. _"Of course, he looked through my files. He does help to keep records for the Hokage… I guess I have no choice then but to do what he says if I want to go on missions at all. One word from him and Lady Tsunade would suspend me for sure since he often helps Kotetsu and Izumo get her work finished."_

"Alright, sensei!" he said aloud, raising his hands in defeat. "Mah… you really have got that teachers stare down. It's no wonder Naruto straightened up under your tutelage. He'll become a fine shinobi, one that I know will protect the Leaf time and time again. It's all thanks to you, Iruka."

The Chunin blushed heavily, obviously grateful and embarrassed for the praise he was receiving. "You've taught him quite a lot as well, he looks up to you."

"So, you were being literal when you said your door was always open…" Kakashi teased, knowing the younger would remember their conversation at the Memorial Stone.

Iruka rubbed the back of his head and laughed in embarrassment. "Well, I didn't expect you to come in without knocking, but I'm glad it was open, otherwise you probably would have figured out you weren't in the right place before I noticed you were here."

The two smiled at each other warmly at first, but then a nervous feeling filled the elder. Kakashi gulped a bit, making his mask rub uncomfortably against his neck. The Jonin leaned down slowly, his face inching closer to Iruka's. The younger turned an even darker shade, and stayed still, not wanting to be wrong about what was happening or jinx it.

Right as they were about to touch, however, Kakashi reached across the table to grab a spare shirt, effectively covering up what he'd almost done. A flash of what he temporarily thought might be disappointment crossed the Chunin's eyes, making him feel guilty, but he decided to ignore it.

The elder wanted so badly to pull his mask down and give Iruka a sweet kiss, but he didn't, in his mind, it wouldn't be right. The Chunin had taken him in and treated him, but that was what comradery was all about. His mind had been so warped by his many losses that he couldn't believe that such a man would ever fall for a damaged soul like his, and even if by some miracle that did happen, what right did he have to be happy.

Rin, Obito, Minato, and Kushina crossed his mind as they returned to packing, reminding him of how many lives were cut short before they could achieve their dreams before they could live out long happy lives. _"No, I couldn't bring the sensei into my world. I don't deserve someone like him taking care of me or putting up with my failures as a man and shinobi."_

* * *

Hinata walked over to the training grounds to meet with her teammates, still upset with herself that she'd been unable to tell her father how she felt yet. He had left the village for a diplomatic meeting, and wouldn't be back for some time, allowing her to go back to training with the people she enjoyed the most.

" _But, at least I'll get to spend time with them. They'll know just what to say to make me feel better,"_ she thought happily.

As she approached the small clearing, however, she was surprised to discover Neji and Shikamaru were already there. Although they knew each other from the mission to retrieve Sasuke and the Chunin exams, she didn't think they were close. Still, something about how they were sitting together made her feel like she shouldn't be watching.

Before Hinata could turn to leave though, her curiosity got the better of her and she decided to stay just a bit longer. The heiress snuck as close as she could without being noticed and hid behind a tree, her big eyes peering out at the two as Shikamaru put his arm around the elder.

The thought crossed her mind that they might be in an actual relationship, but then she shook her head at the notion. _"He's just comforting Neji like Shino and Kiba do for me when I'm upset… that must be-"_ While she was trying to convince herself it was something else though, the Nara nuzzled Neji's cheek before kissing it, making her cousin blush and glare at the Chunin.

She could tell that Neji was scolding the shadow user before being silenced by another kiss, this time on the lips. He resisted at first, but quickly gave in and grabbed the youngers spiky hair, deepening their embrace.

Seeing her cousin doing something so intimate made her feel incredibly intrusive and she turned to leave for real this time. As she did though, she came face to face with her extremely shocked teammates, who had apparently been standing behind her watching too.

The three and Akamaru exchanged stunned glances and then stalked off together quietly, deciding that training could wait for their friends to finish having their romantic moment. They also needed a small break to fully digest what they'd just witnessed.

As they made it to the next clearing, Kiba couldn't contain his surprise anymore "man… what the hell was that about?"

Hinata blushed heavily and nodded her head, "I guess brother Neji has started dating Shikamaru then?"

Shino looked between his teammates, too consumed by envy to contribute to the conversation. There were so many times that he'd almost told Hinata about his feelings for her, but it never seemed like the right moment, especially since she was so taken with the blonde idiot.

"What d-do you think Shino?" Hinata questioned, rousing the teen from his thoughts.

"I don't under the question," Shino responded, realizing he had no idea what she was talking about at this point.

"She means do you think it's a good idea for that Shikamaru kid to be macking on her cousin, that's what," Kiba answered loudly.

"Yes, but why would it be a problem?" the bug asked, now truly not understanding the query.

"I-it's just… In the Hyuga, most of our members are eventually given arranged marriages. If Neji and Shikamaru actually f-fall for each other… it would be terrible for them when it comes he's assigned a wife…" Hinata explained, her eyes downcast in sadness.

"You mean, both you and he will have no choice in who you get married to?" Shino asked incredulously.

The kunoichi shook her head, holding herself for comfort. "It is the way of my clan to ensure strong bloodlines and a high political status."

Shino reacted to her unhappiness without thinking and hugged her tightly, his height advantage allowing him to rest his chin on her head. When he noticed how Kiba was staring at them, however, he pulled away, hating the feeling of losing her soft body immediately.

After clearing his throat some, he decided to answer her original question and get the attention off his impulsive hug. "I think we should put our trust in Naruto. That's because, despite his shortcomings, he has proven himself repeatedly. He has said he will change the Hyuga, and when that happens Neji can be with who he wants, and you will also, Hinata."

The girl blushed heavily, her mind whirling at the prospect of being able to marry whomever she chose. "Do you really think so, Shino?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with happiness.

The bug user nodded behind his shirt collar, doing his best to hide how depressed he was she was probably thinking about Naruto instead of him.

"Yeah, you're right!" Kiba added, "that little squirt is going to show all of us up if we don't train just as hard as him!"

The three nodded and headed off to a separate training ground, each determined to prove themselves and get stronger.

* * *

"Stop it right now!" Neji hissed as the Nara continued to leave marks down his neck.

"But you like it don't you?" Shikamaru asked innocently.

Neji growled and flipped them so that he was sitting on top of the other, pinning him to the ground. "You know that isn't the point! Someone is going to catch us if we aren't careful and giving me hickeys is one of the most reckless things you could do!"

Shikamaru sat up and ran his hands up the elder's thighs, his small pupils boring into Neji like daggers. "You really are worried about that aren't you? Is it because you know this can't go on forever?"

Neji's face filled with shock before he turned away in shame and frustration. "So… you've already figured it out, have you? How long have you known my secret?"

The Nara smiled and leaned back, supporting his weight on his hands. "Come on Hyuga, your eyes might see just about everything, but to me, they're like giant windows. Plus, I come from an important clan too you know, I'm not so naïve to think arranged marriages aren't a big part of keeping a clan in good standing."

The elder sighed and crossed his arms, he was irritated that the genius could read him so easily, but somewhat relieved as well. He'd been feeling guilty about not saying anything since the very start of their relationship. Knowing he'd failed at withholding information from his boyfriend eased his worry, though only a little.

"So, if you were aware of what was destined to become of this relationship, why have you been pursuing it at all. It is utterly pointless." Neji stated coldly.

Shikamaru smiled, confusing the elder teen. He pulled himself back upright and placed one of his hands on Neji's waist, the other tangling in the long silky hair. "Just kiss me, Hyuga" he breathed, willing the teen to submit to his desires once again.

Neji looked at his boyfriend's confident face and gave in, bending down so that their lips could connect again. Their kiss became deeper, tongues fighting for dominance. The Hyuga pushed Shikamaru down arching his back some so that his body could rub against the youngers sensually.

The Hyuga could feel himself starting to get aroused and knew that Shikamaru was as well judging by the bulge building beneath his spread legs. Part of him wanted to keep exploring this impulse… to be closer to Shikamaru. But his pride wouldn't let him; he couldn't bring himself to let go of his inhibitions just yet. He pulled away from the embrace, doing his best to control his heavy breathing before getting to his feet and gliding off.

Shikamaru stayed where he was, panting from the loss of contact. He smirked at the clouds as they slowly blew past him, content with how their meeting had gone. _"I love it when he plays hard to get. Not much will get me to put in effort but that Hyuga, he's just too good to pass up."_

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 **Thanks for reading my friends! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I had fun writing it!**

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